As of yesterday I have a personal relationship with my printer.
At 8:40am I remembered I needed to print some questions before I left for class. I pulled the document up and selected “print”.
This terrible choking/grinding noise came from my printer and a message popped up saying “Error. Paper jammed. Code 5623”. My brain, on the other hand, played a message more like this: Right before class too, right when I need you, you poop out on me! Please work, please please! Come onnnnn.
Since I was pressed for time, I emailed my questions to my roommate and she printed them for me.
I forgot about my distressed printer until I walked into my room later that afternoon. There it was, sitting on my desk, not looking too happy. I didn’t even know what was really wrong with it since I hadn’t seen any jammed paper no matter what I had pulled out or opened that morning.
I pulled out the printer manual and turned to page 11. Troubleshooting.
Once more I opened the same compartments I had before, and pulled out the same trays. Nothing. I continued to turn the printer off and on, unplug all of the chords, open and close compartments, pull and push everything several times with no trace of any jammed paper. Every time the same error message popped up.
This must have gone on for 10 minutes. There were other people conversing with each other in my room but I was totally oblivious to anything they said. I just wanted to fix my dang printer!
Looking back down at the manual I spotted a URL. Why not fix broken technology via other technology, right?
The site came up soon enough, and I selected my printer type and then clicked on the error code that the printer had given me repeatedly.
It told me the same things as the useless manual, which I ignored, and I continued to scroll down until I came to a picture that pointed out directly what I needed to see. The whole time I had been looking in the wrong spot. I hadn’t bothered to physically pick the printer up. When I did, I opened the compartment in the back and peered directly into the face of the problem.
There, jammed between the rollers, was a white sheet of paper.
After much coaxing and tugging, I removed all the piece of paper from my printer, which, by then, had turned into several pieces of paper.
I knew right then that I needed to name him.
I Googled “names that mean troublemaker”. Various names came up, but when I read “Dwight” it fit perfectly.
So my printer is officially named Dwight and now that I fixed him he's not causing as much trouble.
Perhaps he just wanted a name all along.